Dekh bhai Dekh

Value ussi ki hai jiske million likes hain. 

Hum Toh uss type k log hain jinke baal spikes hain. 

Hum aaj bhi words rhyme karne ka sochte hain 

Aur duniya tik tok k videos per mute dance dikhaati hai. 

Jisse hum Nostalgia ka naam dete hain woh asal main #throwbackthursday kehlaati hai. 

Free ka gyaan dene waalon ko ab influencer kehte hain. 

Aur kishtein bharne waale berozgaar baithe hain. 

Kabhi lagta hai main bhi jeebh nikaal kar tasweerein khichwaaun aur jeewan main kuch toh naam kamaaun. 

Ek kitaab pichle kuch maheeno se chal rahi hai.  Chai k saath photo main kaafi jach rahi hai. 

Kahaaniyon k daur se kosoon durr aa gayi hoon. Ab thand ki dhoop main Instagram stories banaa rahi hoon. 

Kissi zamaane main Anyaaye per buland aawaaz uthaane waali aaj trolls se darke screen k peeche chhup jaati hai. 

Kyunki social media k samaaj ki izzat se badkar 

aaj koi devi nahi kehlaati hai. 

Maya-Jaal

I somewhere read Modi did an experiment with Truth.

Don’t know about the money,
But the emotions I witnessed were sort of rare & funny.

A Pizza company offered free pizza slices to people standing in queue all day,
A beggar refused a 500 note with such buoyancy.

A housewife removed her savings she otherwise would have never let apart
Breaking a kid’s piggy bank broke his heart.

A few washed tenners in my denim pocket got me smile,
And few thousands in my hand made me walk a mile.

My servant who was put down to have asked for an advance last month,
A plead to take an added bonus was put on a front.

Black or White the chess aims the king but uses the rest,
People who know the game well are the one chilling in their nest. 

Some gossiped, some faced repercussions, while social media celebrated at large.

Apart from few pink selfies, Money cannot buy happiness was proved at last.

Dont Chew, Swallow Instead.

I learnt the art of swallowing,
Gulping down the miseries

The memories that make me wrench
Filtering the restless bit from the rest

Going through those motivational quotes online
and then leave your uncertainties to say good bye

Was that a healing process or a full stop at large,
the more answers I hunt, the more questions barge.

The rule was made since start, but we never wanted,
The person who loves you the most is always taken for granted.

Happy Endings is a bright term but who has seen it?
All I saw were the stories half done & in fact been in one.

The more funny life gets, the more you stop laughing,
The judgments get more acclaimed when you are hanging transparent.   

A Dream Start Up!

Let me tell you, I am a ridiculous dreamer. When I use to dream back then, there were no face book posts to get inspired from. With how much ever limited I had traveled, I had a picture of what I was sure of doing down the line. A café with books, handmade pots, Mountain View, smell of coffee & strangers turning friends. I had no direction, no plan. Just a simple image which use to make me smile.

Their came a phase where everyone around me was working hard, they were ambitious & were moving at a good pace in life. I was still dreaming plus exploring some ten thousand hobbies like an avid teenager. I Loved my non restrictive, no nonsense & low responsibility kinda life. But few birthday’s down the line things changed. No one changed or forced to change them.

My parents never took me acutely but were always there for me. Then came the angel of my life my Husband who could see my dream floating in my eyes in a typical Bollywood style.

Omit the mountains & my café was live in front of me. Dreaming is so simple but the patience & courage that requires to build something from scratch is a feeling that only a person who has gone through the whole process of a start up can identify with. To get drained mentally, physically, emotionally & financially.

I could have not just watched mountains & made friends. I had to earn money to run it as well. To repay loans & to buy more equipment to stay updated. One always starts a business with a lot of flowery dreams, to earn loads to open a new branch soon etc. The initial phase is such a damper when people don’t know about your place; you try & sell anything & everything. Not being philosophical here but if you hold on your patience for a while, it pays off. Not all customers come to chit-chat & are friends with you. 

The Irony was my mood started functioning as per how well I was earning. Whereas my dream was never this commercial.  In a short span of time I realized my passion driven dream was revolving around money making business.

The main motive for most girls to work is independence & to get recognition. If not then I don’t mind living a luxurious life sponsored by my rich Daddy! What’s the need of working your ass off if you aren’t been recognized for it. Right?

But eventually I was getting recognized. I was getting complimented; people said they are proud of me. But ONLY when I was delivering orders to celebrities. A picture with Amitabh Bachchan cutting my cake made everyone took me seriously.

Isn’t that strange? People in India go gaga with anyone just having one celeb connection. But to distinguish hard work comes way later in life.

Everything in life teaches you. Makes you rich & wiser in experience, knowledge & emotions.
I have also learnt which I pass on to my teenage siblings, who are high on life as I was.  Dreaming is good but it has a lot of frills attached.

Seasonal Changes

 Waiting for summers, yet it is so hot.
Cousins get together whenever we want.

Playing nonstop as exams are over,
Fighting for who will fill water in Cooler,

Unlimited glasses of Rasna at our disposal.

The excitement to sleep at Terrace for the feel of cold breeze,
I think I still prefer that, over an A.C. Sneeze.

That Kulfi guy with a pot covered with red cloth that rings bell
how we rush to him without bothering who fell

It wasn't the irritation when the electricity goes off,
But the joy to meet all right when it’s the time to doze off.

To reach home before it goes dark
Seeing Goldspot in the refrigerator gets us that spark.

Reading newspaper every morning in the lawn
Plucking Raw Mangoes before dawn

I miss my Summer Vacations.
The heat must have been harsh back then too
but it’s today that I feel it most.

Zindagi Gulzar Hai

Lately I have got hooked to the Pakistani television series.  I have a hangover of this serial Zindagi Gulzar hai & a telifilm Behadd. I can’t stop thinking about the same. I wonder if I had seen such intense kind of work in my life that is holding my mind so much probably my inspirations would have been different by now. The crappy content I see without having a choice is so loud in terms of making my thoughts run in a different direction. I see the Saaree, Jewellery, I see the set. All I don’t see is a story. My niece at an age of 10 thinks that joint family is about Politics & fights. I don’t blame her you become what you see.

Here I am not going totally against the Indian t.v. scenario. After all I have myself worked in television for few years. But there is a VAST difference for sure. I no more sympathize with the reality show contestants crying on stage because they come from poor family. I no more sympathize with daughter-in-laws who do so much for the family & gets nothing in return. It’s nowhere close to real.

A little bit of bitchiness, a little bit of laughter, crying, cribbing. A mix of all is good entertainment. But here we witness high trp’s of shows that go on for many years with no message & no entertainment.
I had worked for few reality shows few years back. I thought it was such a wonderful platform for people who have talent & want to break it on their own. But today when I speak with those contestants 80% out of the lot is jobless ever since, Yet optimistic that they will get a chance again, just because they have seen the glamour & money of this industry.

I remember working on this reality show where the actual wedding was shown live on tv, Both the families were given lots of money for the preps & their activities were captured on cameras in all rooms. As a reality show producer my job was to provoke them, interview them in such a way that they should lose it on camera. My Bosses in the Programming Control Room use to find it a victory if the judges cry or such teaser moments use to get a lot appreciation. While interviewing one of the family members on this show I provoked her over a monetary issue & later when the show was done I realized that her relationship has gone sour with her whole family because she spoke foul for them on national tv in the heat of the moment.  With the guilt of this I realized to end my short stint in Television industry. People find it funny but this episode had made me guilty as well as had proved me emotionless.

Hence now when I watched this Pakistani serial it felt real for a change. The simplicity was beautiful. No good clothes, no fancy sets yet so much to look forward to. The romance was felt like a teenager in me; the holding hands got me goose bumps, the acting, the story got me emotional, I couldn't stop thinking about it for days to come. In 23 episodes they showed a whole range of emotions which we don’t see here in years except the changing husbands & wives. The background score added a different level of intensity to the roles.

I wish our entertainment industry realizes soon where we heading to or rather where we should. 

Thought for living

I tend to write when I am angry, when I am emotional as I feel I can convey better through words.
I can sit, ponder & write for hours what I feel. But when I convey it verbally, I regret. I regret for  speaking in the heat of the moment or I regret conveying my thoughts partially.

When you wake up, your mood and thoughts tends to set for mood for the rest of the day. Good, Bad, Lazy, Excited.  

I am living in a situation that I have never been accustomed to in the past. A so called “struggle phase”. 
At times, this phase brings in a lot of hopes, dreams, and excitements but sometimes I feel a little left out at times.

(I am jumping to write from moods to struggle to friends but all this is linked in my head.  So going with the flow of thoughts. )

I have been a social Animal since I can remember. And like all of us, try to wear different social hats.I try to be a little manipulative with the Bandra kitty types but then I can be a fun company for the genuine ones & can switch to my slighthly intellect side when I am with the Geeks. And
My Husband loves this art in me

I have always ‘switched’ with age. I remember being a party animal during graduation days to going for debates & plays. Now I have become a brunch person. I love meeting people for coffee in daylight, to discuss books, go for plays, join hobby classes & talk politics. I don’t know if it’s my age or my company or my realization that there is so much to do in life rather than having a ‘hangover’ (which is also necessary once in a while)

My friends feel that I have become ‘annoying’ while I walk through this whole phase. From being a charm in my social circles now I am not even invited as much. I tend to ditch plans. Apart from staying far from the city, I am also surrounded with a lot of start up business calculations which I don’t expect any & everyone to have a handle on.

When I meet people who encourage me, I get motivated & optimistic about starting my own business. However, even the slightest negativity, forces me to ponder all over again. This makes me chose & pick the company I would like to spend time with. It is not that I am not open to criticisms but it is just the ‘phase’.

Another weird situation I dread a lot these days is being in the group of people who use the kissing emoticon more than they chat. Especially when I am allergic to too much love. ‘The baby’ ‘the doll’, darlings & love. Usage of these excessive lovedove in group of girls is quite common these days and  I can see they bond well over these sea of love. Regrettably I don’t land up bonding with them as well as they expect me to.

There was a time when I could turn strangers into friends in no time. But that has changed now, it takes a lot from me to accept someone of a different natural history. People whose company I find rational, they don’t find me exciting. And neither do I fit in the too much love circles.

I miss being in crowd.

This start up career building phase takes me not only on an emotional trip but on an abandoned one too. And the patience to hang around for a fruitful result is a long wait indeed.