Zindagi Gulzar Hai

Lately I have got hooked to the Pakistani television series.  I have a hangover of this serial Zindagi Gulzar hai & a telifilm Behadd. I can’t stop thinking about the same. I wonder if I had seen such intense kind of work in my life that is holding my mind so much probably my inspirations would have been different by now. The crappy content I see without having a choice is so loud in terms of making my thoughts run in a different direction. I see the Saaree, Jewellery, I see the set. All I don’t see is a story. My niece at an age of 10 thinks that joint family is about Politics & fights. I don’t blame her you become what you see.

Here I am not going totally against the Indian t.v. scenario. After all I have myself worked in television for few years. But there is a VAST difference for sure. I no more sympathize with the reality show contestants crying on stage because they come from poor family. I no more sympathize with daughter-in-laws who do so much for the family & gets nothing in return. It’s nowhere close to real.

A little bit of bitchiness, a little bit of laughter, crying, cribbing. A mix of all is good entertainment. But here we witness high trp’s of shows that go on for many years with no message & no entertainment.
I had worked for few reality shows few years back. I thought it was such a wonderful platform for people who have talent & want to break it on their own. But today when I speak with those contestants 80% out of the lot is jobless ever since, Yet optimistic that they will get a chance again, just because they have seen the glamour & money of this industry.

I remember working on this reality show where the actual wedding was shown live on tv, Both the families were given lots of money for the preps & their activities were captured on cameras in all rooms. As a reality show producer my job was to provoke them, interview them in such a way that they should lose it on camera. My Bosses in the Programming Control Room use to find it a victory if the judges cry or such teaser moments use to get a lot appreciation. While interviewing one of the family members on this show I provoked her over a monetary issue & later when the show was done I realized that her relationship has gone sour with her whole family because she spoke foul for them on national tv in the heat of the moment.  With the guilt of this I realized to end my short stint in Television industry. People find it funny but this episode had made me guilty as well as had proved me emotionless.

Hence now when I watched this Pakistani serial it felt real for a change. The simplicity was beautiful. No good clothes, no fancy sets yet so much to look forward to. The romance was felt like a teenager in me; the holding hands got me goose bumps, the acting, the story got me emotional, I couldn't stop thinking about it for days to come. In 23 episodes they showed a whole range of emotions which we don’t see here in years except the changing husbands & wives. The background score added a different level of intensity to the roles.

I wish our entertainment industry realizes soon where we heading to or rather where we should. 

Thought for living

I tend to write when I am angry, when I am emotional as I feel I can convey better through words.
I can sit, ponder & write for hours what I feel. But when I convey it verbally, I regret. I regret for  speaking in the heat of the moment or I regret conveying my thoughts partially.

When you wake up, your mood and thoughts tends to set for mood for the rest of the day. Good, Bad, Lazy, Excited.  

I am living in a situation that I have never been accustomed to in the past. A so called “struggle phase”. 
At times, this phase brings in a lot of hopes, dreams, and excitements but sometimes I feel a little left out at times.

(I am jumping to write from moods to struggle to friends but all this is linked in my head.  So going with the flow of thoughts. )

I have been a social Animal since I can remember. And like all of us, try to wear different social hats.I try to be a little manipulative with the Bandra kitty types but then I can be a fun company for the genuine ones & can switch to my slighthly intellect side when I am with the Geeks. And
My Husband loves this art in me

I have always ‘switched’ with age. I remember being a party animal during graduation days to going for debates & plays. Now I have become a brunch person. I love meeting people for coffee in daylight, to discuss books, go for plays, join hobby classes & talk politics. I don’t know if it’s my age or my company or my realization that there is so much to do in life rather than having a ‘hangover’ (which is also necessary once in a while)

My friends feel that I have become ‘annoying’ while I walk through this whole phase. From being a charm in my social circles now I am not even invited as much. I tend to ditch plans. Apart from staying far from the city, I am also surrounded with a lot of start up business calculations which I don’t expect any & everyone to have a handle on.

When I meet people who encourage me, I get motivated & optimistic about starting my own business. However, even the slightest negativity, forces me to ponder all over again. This makes me chose & pick the company I would like to spend time with. It is not that I am not open to criticisms but it is just the ‘phase’.

Another weird situation I dread a lot these days is being in the group of people who use the kissing emoticon more than they chat. Especially when I am allergic to too much love. ‘The baby’ ‘the doll’, darlings & love. Usage of these excessive lovedove in group of girls is quite common these days and  I can see they bond well over these sea of love. Regrettably I don’t land up bonding with them as well as they expect me to.

There was a time when I could turn strangers into friends in no time. But that has changed now, it takes a lot from me to accept someone of a different natural history. People whose company I find rational, they don’t find me exciting. And neither do I fit in the too much love circles.

I miss being in crowd.

This start up career building phase takes me not only on an emotional trip but on an abandoned one too. And the patience to hang around for a fruitful result is a long wait indeed.

I am Sorry I can't Vote!

Election campaigning are at its full swing.  Reminds me of my hometown Bhopal where my friends use to be very opinionated around this time for whom they would vote & of course with their facts & figures clear. Discussions at home over dinner or with friends over coffee were quite usual.
The Rickshaws that use to pass ten times a day with bursting speakers, funny picture portfolios of the candidate & more hilariously rhyming slogans in a typical voice.  “Khaaiye Samosa Aur Kachori..Yaad rakhiye Suresh Pachori”

Small town has its own charm, a rave that runs during election days. Since the time i have got my senses i have seen my family prioratizing to vote first thing in the morning of that day. Those 'deshbhakti' songs playing in the area adds to the effect. It use to make me feel as if I am participating in Sports day & want my ‘Sapphire house’ to win. Election result day was like a Parents -Teacher meet. 

I remember the first time I voted. I was excited as hell! I agree I had to run around to get my voters id made. But I specially took an off from my college in Mumbai. Travelled to Bhopal to Vote. In my ward at that particular time I was the only young girl. The volunteers were equally excited to guide me. I went inside in that corner & I took my own time to check out all the buttons & symbols. To my shock there were many symbols I had never seen in my life. (Exactly how the so called politically & socially active youth today who know nothing beyond  A Modi  AGandhi  & Now A Kejriwal)
I was so proud to show that mark on my figure that my Dad even called the local MLA to inform that my daughter came all the way to vote for you.  May be I was over enthusiastic.

I pity life of people staying in bigger cities. How they miss the charm of being ‘Socially Active’.
Their frustration to travel for hours, cope up with an expensive lifestyle, to crave for peace & yet to pretend intellectual. Oh I so don’t blame them. But let me also tell you, involving yourself in National Politics is no more considered intellectual. It’s assumed to be an obvious part of your life like A Shahrukh Khan & Salman Khan are. And trust me it’s equally entertaining. The Blame games, comedy, fight & love.

It’s the first time that I can’t vote since I have got that authority to vote cz I have no changed Surname documents & I can’t travel to Bhopal on that day, I really feel guilty. But I feel guiltier for my friends here. 70% of my friends in Bombay who are highly educated, apparently of my age or more have no voters id card & nor have they ever tried to register themselves.  They don’t know the name of the MLA of their area, but they definitely know the filmstars who have filed nominations in these elections.

There was a time when all these things use to irritate me. But I guess not anymore. I have seen these friends clubbing, watching repeated episodes on television & going picnics on weekends.  I certainly hereby realize you are no one who can bring in any change in anyone.  I don’t want someone to label me as a person who blabbers & goes. High time they realize their priorities on their own. And there is no harm if they have realized that chilling over a weekend is more important. But all I demand is they should be upfront about it rather than writing status messages for the same.

So done with hearing I want to vote for Modi because he has changed Gujrat.

I want to vote for Kejriwal  because I want to give a new person a chance
I want to vote for Rahul Gandhi because he is young.

Their are friends who have pointed me "Oh my God you havent been to the Sunburn"

Babes i wana tell you "Oh my God you have never voted! 

Seriously!
Grow up. There is so much more beyond that.

Happy New Year

I logged in facebook this morning as a regular ritual & saw flooded status messages of New Year resolutions.  Whereas few cribbed about what’s so new about this day!

I personally have always been an adherent fan of following such funny beliefs what I was taught as a kid & they are still harmless & tagged with a lot of positivism.

My Dad use to wake me up on Jan 1^st early morning with a lot of notions like if I sleep till late today, I will have a lazy year, if I’ll skip bath today I’ll have an untidy year & so on..

This morning when I woke up I promised myself to write a piece which was pending since long, read a page of a book to get a hang of it & to go for a jog which never happened!

We tend to analyze the whole year with up’s & down’s.  2013 was brand new for me.  I got married, relocated, new friends, new family, new habits, and new lifestyle.  I can’t be judgmental by saying what was good & what was not so good about it. But all I can say is I grew in this span with an understanding to adjust with others & let others adjust with me. My friends are getting married & few are delivering babies. Life is indeed running at its fullest!

I miss being a small townie, I miss the warmness. I realize this city (Mumbai) is an artificial entity & people are frustrated at every point of time. But then this city makes me dream to grow & compete.
This city made me self-strong & also selfless. I no more think about how my father taught me to help the society. I think about when I will wear that big rock solitaire like my neighbor, when I will drive that fancy car, when will I move to a sea face apartment. Life has started revolving more around me & I have no guilt about it either. From a satisfied person

 Now i crave for more. Life takes strange turns!

 

 
I went to see my first live cricket match. With no interest in the game & the players, I fell in love with the simplicity & humbleness of the Iconic star of the game Sachin Tendulkar.  I couldn't believe it was happening in real that tears were rolling from everyone’s eyes, pin drop silence & that excitement to hear the man himself.  It wasn't the victory, it wasn't the game. It was sheer hard earned respect which forced me to be a fan of that player. 

Another deferential memory of the year was when Arvind Kejriwal was appointed as the CM of Delhi later this year. It was such a motivational chapter for all dreamers across the nation including me.  ‘Dream, work & achieve’ emerged as a doable phrase.

So it’s time to get going with more inspirations & with more fancy dreams to hit 2014!